2.7.07

When I say ‘Go!’ slap my arse as hard as you can with your machete!”

The price of machetes has halved in parts of Nigeria since the end of general elections in April because demand from thugs sponsored by politicians has subsided, the state-owned News Agency of Nigeria reported

Random sentences from a prologue to a never to be finished story about a squirrel

  1.  “Make no sudden movements, and for Christ’s sake, no loud noises…”
  2. “Shut up, you imbecile!” his wife said in a ferocious tone. He knew from experience that words uttered in that manner could easily escalate to physical violence, so he bit his tongue.
  3. “You are going to get your pecker bitten off…”, his wife muttered through clenched teeth. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to bring Little Bubba in to this.”
  4. “Look at those teeth…” his wife whimpered, slowly turning her head, “Big Bubba, do something!”
  5. “Honey, when I say ‘Go!’ slap my arse as hard as you can with your machete!”

 

Celebrities that would look sexier as “Cabbage Patch Kids”

  1. Calista Flockhart.
  2. Winona Ryder.
  3. Lindsay Lohan.
  4. Lara Flynn Boyle.
  5. The Olsen Twins.