What
you never want to hear your neighbors say
1.
Perhaps you should build a higher fence because we are buying a pack of Pit
Bulls.
2.
My parents are coming to stay with us because their village is being ravaged by
Ebola.
3.
Is your chainsaw strong enough to cut a hooker in half?
4.
I beat my wife only because she walks in to doors and falls down stairs.
5.
Can my kids play at your house while I clean our Meth
lab?
Things
nobody wants to find on their dresser the morning after a night out
1.
Some dude’s boxers, cowboy hat and bullwhip.
2.
Empty bottle of Rohypnol and an enormous German bratwurst.
3.
Videotape wrappers and a note that says: “Thanks for last night whatever your
name is!”
4.
Grandma’s dentures, a jar of Vaseline and peanut butter.
5.
A straight razor and some bloodied bandages
