- Never eat anything that start with a vowel.
- Blue food products should only be eaten after sunset.
- You can eat all you want of everything that rhymes with “hexlaxar”.
- Only free-range chickens that have choked on crystals are safe to eat.
- Anything regurgitated by a virgin is always good to eat.
Curious George children’s book scripts that never made it to print
- Curious George plays with fire — “He learns why hairy-assed monkeys shouldn’t light their farts on fire.”
- Curious George finds a new home — “He runs away from home and moves into what he believes to be an abandoned microwave oven.”
- Curious George is a bad monkey — “He gets high on PCP and breaks into a hardware store to play with circular saws.”
- Curious George at the church — “He drinks a quart of tequila — passes out — and rolls off the church roof onto a fence post on the ground below.”
- Curious George plays dare — “He sneaks in to a kennel for pitbulls and kicks an 85-pounder in the nuts.”
